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"The Conversation" by Hill Harper- Book Review




To give a quick background of the book: (Synopsis)

African Americans have always turned to family in times of need. But now, this proud and strong legacy is in peril. Black men and women have stopped communicating effectively, threatening the relationships and marriages necessary to sustain the Black family. In this moving and practical book, Hill Harper -- bestselling author, NAACP Image Award winner, and CSI: NY star -- undertakes a journey both universal and deeply personal in search of answers to this dilemma.

I finished "The Conversation" by Hill Harper and it was so insightful that I decided to skim back through it again in case I over or under analyzed something (that's how good it was lol) and I am at it's completion. Needless to say like so many other relationship books I went into this read with a skeptical outlook. I assumed that it would be pointing the finger at black women saying we didn't love enough, we didn't sacrifice enough, or we didn't wear enough of our natural hair lol, but to my satisfaction it was nothing like that.

Harper takes the struggle of black love generations back and analyzes the root of why so many of us today have difficulties loving each other and maintaining healthy relationships. He takes jabs at his own personal love life and unmasks fears that have prevented him from pursuing marriage. I appreciated his vulnerability because it made it that much easier for me to digest the hard things that I identified in my own personal love life. Unlike it's rival love and relationship book "Act like a lady, think like an asshole man" it doesn't try to sell you tricks of the trade or encourage you to dumb down your dreams and aspirations to obtain a man.

I especially loved the conversations at the end of the book in which he allowed women and men to engage in sort of a questions and answer section that showed that men AND women have absolutely no clue when it comes to what each other are thinking. As a woman, many of my assumptions about men were dispelled and put to rest because all men do not think the same (Ex: all men aren't afraid of commitment, they don't always think about sex, and many don't find successful women intimidating).

One of the most important things that I learned from this book that I think would really help many of us is understanding that we can not blame our boyfriend/husband for the mistakes of all the bad men we have come into contact with and vice versa. When you are having a disagreement, address the issues. Don't make blanket statements or bring up things that other men have done to hurt you. Break the cycle and fight for a healthy harmonious relationship.